Prep the biscuits: Place the biscuits in a large zip-top bag and crush with a rolling pin until they’re fine crumbs with a few small pieces. You want texture, not dust. Transfer to a mixing bowl.

Make the chocolate base: In a small saucepan, warm the heavy cream until steaming (do not boil). Add the chopped dark chocolate and let sit 1 minute. Stir until smooth. Whisk in cocoa powder, powdered sugar, vanilla, a pinch of salt, and butter until glossy.

Combine: Pour the chocolate mixture over the biscuit crumbs and stir until everything is evenly coated and holds together when pressed. If it seems dry, add a tablespoon more cream; if too sticky, add a few extra crushed crumbs.

Set up the rolling surface: Lay a large sheet of parchment on your counter. Spoon the chocolate mixture onto the parchment and pat into a rough rectangle about 10x12 inches and about 1/2 inch thick. Smooth the surface with a spatula.

Make the filling: Beat cream cheese with the granulated sugar (or honey) until smooth and fluffy. Add a splash of vanilla. For a festive twist, fold in crushed candy canes or orange zest. Keep it spreadable, not runny.

Spread the filling: Dollop the cream cheese filling over the chocolate rectangle, leaving a 1/2-inch border on all sides to prevent overflow. If using nuts, sprinkle them evenly now.

Roll it up: Starting from the long side, use the parchment to help lift and roll the mixture into a tight log. Roll slowly, tucking as you go to avoid gaps. If any cracks form, press them together gently—this mixture is forgiving.

Wrap and chill: Wrap the log firmly in the parchment, twist the ends like a candy wrapper, and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, ideally overnight. It will firm up and slice cleanly.

Finish the outside: Unwrap the chilled roll. You can dust with powdered sugar for a snowy look, or make a quick chocolate glaze by melting 3 oz dark chocolate with 2 tbsp butter and spreading it over the log. Add sprinkles or chocolate shavings if you like.

Slice and serve: Use a sharp knife warmed in hot water and wiped dry. Cut into 1/2- to 3/4-inch slices. Serve slightly chilled or at cool room temperature.